Choose Assertiveness Over Anger

This year…while wishing me on my birthday, my boss said: "You are old enough…so try to cool your head now."

This reminded me of this year’s resolution: Control my anger. All my friends already know of this resolution…because the resolution remains same every year :P. I just fail miserably every year. Wonder why?

I found out the reason behind my failures: I was actually suppressing my anger, when I should have been managing this powerful emotion constructively. Sounds weird? Anger…to be used constructively?

Yes. This is possible. While I was reading very helpful information, thought of sharing with people who need help.  

Lets us start from the basics: What is ANGER?

Anger is a very powerful emotion that can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance, or disappointment. It is a normal human emotion that can range from slight irritation to strong rage.

Source: Webmd

We all know what happens when we express anger. Let us find out what happens when we suppress anger. Suppressed anger can:

• Cause anxiety and depression
• Disrupt relationships
• Affect thinking and behavior patterns
• Create a variety of physical problems such as high blood pressure, heart problems,  headaches, skin disorders, and digestive problems

And we all know that suppressed anger can be the reason behind many criminal activities, emotional and physical abuse, drug abuse, and violent behavior.

How to deal with anger? Rather manage this emotion properly?


Although you will find thousands of advices coming from different channels…let me share what worked for me well:

1. Avoid talking/interacting when you are real angry. You may aggravate the situation for yourself and for others.
2. Take a walk alone for some time or do something that requires your attention in case you cannot leave the place at that moment. It is important to shift your mind for the time being, so that when you are back to that situation, you can take a fresh look over it. Be sure to discover a few new angles that will help you sort things out.
3. Try to gain a different perspective by putting yourself in another's place. Trust me, it helps.
4. Now, when you are sure of yourself that you can express your opinion/feelings without being swept away by surge of emotions…(mainly you have to be assertive…but not defensive, hostile, or emotionally charged) start talking.
5. If you are not in a situation where you can talk to the person you are angry with, start writing a journal. Mention that you are angry, what made you angry and whatever comes to your mind.  When you finish off, close the journal and try to take your mind off the topic.
6. Next time, after you know you have cooled down, read what you wrote. Analyze the situation. You will get a different perspective.
7. You can do the same by talking to someone close and trustworthy. You relieve your anger and get to know another perspective on that subject.

Expressing anger appropriately is a challenging task. But it is important that we do so as frequent outbursts of anger is counter-productive and ruins relationships. Anger outbursts are stressful to your nervous and cardiovascular systems making health problems worse. So, practice, practice and practice assertiveness. Do express your feelings, needs, and preferences, without being angry. Anger does not do any good to you. Assertiveness does. Be assertive in situations that make you mad with anger.

I will be back with another solution to some other mental problem…till then,

Keep the faith!

Mind in Mess: “I Cannot Live Without You”: True or False?

Mind in Mess: “I Cannot Live Without You”: True or False?

“I Cannot Live Without You”: True or False?

Have you ever wake up in the morning and suddenly found there is actually no reason why you should freshen up and start a new day ahead? Most of us have experienced such situations in life… in other words losing normal urge of living, as if out of the blue there is no longer a reason to live.

This symptom is triggered mostly by loss of loved one. When the loss comes as a shock, you may experience a heart ache, which apparently quite similar to heart attack. This is a different type of heart problem named stress cardiomyopathy also dubbed "broken heart syndrome".

To understand broken heart syndrome, we need to know how the body reacts to stress.

The term "broken heart syndrome" came about after researchers noticed that many people with the condition were grieving, says Ilan Wittstein, MD, a Johns Hopkins University cardiologist who's been studying the condition for a decade. "The first several patients we saw, many of them had [just experienced] the death of a loved one, a spouse, a parent. Some people started having symptoms at a funeral. But other patients had just gone through a trauma like a car accident or a mugging. Another woman landed in the intensive care unit on her 60th birthday after being startled by well-wishers shouting "Surprise!" Wittstein says. These types of events can trigger your sympathetic nervous system, which is also called your "fight or flight" mechanism, says Peter Shapiro, MD, a professor of clinical psychiatry at Columbia University who studies emotional issues in heart disease. Your body unleashes a flood of chemicals, including adrenaline, he says. This sudden flood can stun your heart muscle, leaving it unable to pump properly.

Source http://www.webmd.com

This broken heart syndrome requires different type of treatment. First, let’s see what are the symptoms. According to Wittstein, under t his condition the heart muscles are extremely affected and so fails to pump blood out of the body with required force. It results in heart failure which is life threatening. 

Broken heart syndrome has yet another name: Takotsubo syndrome.

A tako-tsubo is a pot that's used in Japan for catching sea creatures. When Japanese researchers looked at images of people's hearts during broken heart syndrome, they noted that the left ventricle had taken on an unusual shape resembling the fishing pot.

Common symptoms include:

1. ·         Chest pain

1. ·         Shortness of breath

1. ·         Arm pain

1. ·         Sweating

1. 
   

"If you're at home having chest pain, you shouldn't question whether this could be stress cardiomyopathy just because you're going through a stressful period. The take-home message is get to the hospital and let the doctors find out which one of these you’re having," Wittstein says.

A few research studies say that about 2% of people who seem to be having a heart attack actually have broken heart syndrome. So, when you know that you are going through or just have experienced grief, stress, or emotional trauma, you must reveal it to your doctor.

Most of the time a patient with broken heart syndrome recovers fast. The doctors normally perform an echocardiogram to see pictures of your heart if the shape is of fishing pot shape. In such cases the heart muscles recover quickly and afterwards people may need to take heart medications called beta blockers or ACE inhibitors for a limited time. It mainly depends on the patient and his history. Many of those with these symptoms never show any heart problem later and require only mild anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs. 

Yes. You may die of broken heart...but why should you? Life is for living and Mother Nature herself will supply you with so many reasons to live...

Till then...

Keep the faith!

Myths and Facts About Depression

Myth: Hard Work Beats Depression

Depression affects nearly one in six people at some point in their lives, so folk remedies and half-truths about this common illness abound. One such idea: throw yourself into work and you'll feel better. For a mild case of the blues, this may indeed help, but depression is a different animal. Overworking can actually be a sign of clinical depression, especially in men.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/slideshow-depression-myths?ecd=wnl_emw_020911

Check out the interesting Slide Show on Depression!

SAD?

Have you heard of Winter Blues? Medically known as Seasonal Affective Disorder, this means for some people around us, winter brings worsening symptoms of depression back. 

Experts believe that SAD is associated with the lack of natural sunlight in he body and due to shorter days the body clock is out of sync. As the days grow shorter, people often find their moods grow darker. Other symptoms of depression may include:extreme fatigue, getting too much sleep, difficulty concentrating, weight gain etc.

Do you suffer from symptoms like these only during the winter?

• Sleep problems - oversleeping but not refreshed, cannot get out of bed, needing a nap in the afternoon
• Overeating - carbohydrate craving leading to weight gain
• Depression, despair, misery, guilt, anxiety - normal tasks become frustratingly difficult
• Family / social problems - avoiding company, irritability, loss of libido, loss of feeling
• Lethargy - too tired to cope, everything an effort
• Physical symptoms - often joint pain or stomach problems, lowered resistance to infection
• Behavioural problems - especially in the young 

If yes, wait for my next post where I will try to equip you with some simple yet effective ways to get rid of the symptoms. After all who would like to remain SAD when you have a way out?

Till then...

Keep the faith!